Perhaps we should have been preparing for the storm this weekend, packing and painting and cleaning the new house.
We did not do this. Instead, we did this:
Sipping on gin and juice. And by gin, I mean vodka. And my juice, I mean limoncello. Good times in the Northern Neck.
People have honeymoons and “babymoons” to relax before those big, exhausting, expensive life changes sink in. Yeah, we had a “housemoon.” And it was awesome.
Then we came home … to our new home. So here it is. In all of its empty, blank slate glory …
Front of the house. Okay, so I did not remember to take a picture of the front of the house. This may be because we had a big old storm this weekend, and Michelle and I were too busy scanning the overgrown grass and piles of small and not-quite-small tree limbs all over the yard to remember to actually take a picture.
This whole “our house has storm damage” thing would have been more stress-inducing if we did not drive by a neighbor’s house three doors down that had a giant pine tree through the roof of the house.
And quicker than you can say “Quick! Call the landlord to deal with this mess!” the reality of homeownership sunk in.
Pictures of the house front and (for now) intact roof forthcoming …
And a disclaimer on the photos. They are not good quality, and I may have gotten overzealous with my PicFrame app. I promise to try to learn more about how to photograph rooms in such a way that you can actually see what is going on in them. I cannot promise to do so without instagram (aka beer goggles for photography).
Living Room. Three fabulous things about this room. Fireplace. Plantation shutters. Big old room. We will ignore for a moment that I have no idea how to turn on the fireplace (did I mention that power tools may be a stretch for me?).
One fireplace. And one display of poor photography skills. Boom.
Dining Room. Gotta be honest, it is nice to have one room that feels like we won’t have to do much to it. This is it.
Instant dining room. Just remove cable box.
My Office. Enjoy your first and I hope last look at the red bookshelves. They will soon be not-red and likely CSD’s equivalent of a MacDonald’s Playland. Old school Playland … think fewer ball pits and more Hamburglar jailhouses.
Kitchen. So. Much. Storage. I cannot wrap my head around it. Michelle does not care about the storage so much as the fact that she knocks her head on the lights over the island every time we are in the kitchen. #tallgirlproblems
Basement. Taking it down a level to the basement (which is not actually a basement … split levels confuse me). One big room with ugly ceramic tiles that will be the future site of lots of beautiful wine. You win some, you lose some.
And there is a laundry room with aqua walls. Eek.
It is as weird in person as it is in pictures.
Bedrooms. Okay, and then back up two levels (half levels? WTF split level), we have three bedrooms and two bathrooms.
The Bathrooms … tiny sinks, tiny toilets, and a big old powder blue tub. Yeah, we don’t understand them either.
What is this? A sink for ANTS?!?
How can they learn how to use the bathroom if they can’t even fit on the toilet?
The Pink Bedroom. Which you may notice is not pink. Michelle convinced herself that it was, and now it will forever be known as the Pink Room.
Please tell me where the hot pink is in this room.
The Navy Bedroom. Truth in advertising, it is navy. That is about all there is to say about this one.
And The Downstairs Master.
Which is neither downstairs nor probably in the long run a Master (discuss). And this is because …
The Real Upstairs (if you don’t count the attic). There is this fabulous massive room upstairs that we want to be the master bedroom. It is huge, with big closets and general awesomeness. It is also sans AC, which Michelle seems to think is a problem. And when I put on my big girl pants and stop whining about how cool (not literally) it would be to have the bedroom upstairs, I also realize this is a problem. So until we decide to bite the bullet and get some air conditioning put upstairs, we have an upstairs space that is both beautiful and untouchable.
The levels – like the temperature – keep on rising.
There is also this random little room that is kind of like a bedroom and a closet met and had a baby. A cute baby, but full of the awkwardness that one would expect from this sort of forbidden love child. Michelle wants it to be a meditation room. CSD wants it to be a food storage area. I just want it to grow up to be happy. Let the identity crisis ensue …
So there she is. She is old, kind of confused, and all ours.
Next up on the agenda … we figure out what the hell we want to do with all this space. Oh, and we will try to get up some pics of the front of the house and the backyard (aka The Jungle … in all of its Axel Rose glory).
We could not leave however without starting one demolition project:
Pink wooden tulips are no match for me.
Spreading death and destruction wherever we go …