Not just for poison ivy and/or pot anymore … Nope, our backyard inhabitants now include foxes. #RVAsafari
It was a busy busy long weekend … so busy that I have not had a chance to share a real update this week. And so here we go, a week behind schedule …
You know how sometimes you put your collective effort into one big thing and finish it off and sit back smugly thinking “I finished this big thing. I rock.”
This was not one of those weekends.
The theme of this past weekend was “all the small things” – which I now conveniently have stuck in my head. Would it be preferable to not have a Blink 182 song stuck in my head during my work day? Yes. But since I have it stuck there, I am going to do the weekend run-down in playlist form. Boom.
“Motto (YOLO)” – Drake featuring Lil Wayne
The most important thing to happen over the weekend by far was not house-related at all. So first off a big congrats to my cousin Morgan who graduated from high school! Lucky for her (or not), she had the whole big crazy family present for this major life milestone at a time in life when all any teenager wants is to be hounded and embarrassed by her crazy family. So she gets a second congrats for making it through the weekend without strangling us.
I love a good graduation quote. Emerson is one option:
The Class 2013 graduation speaker decided to keep it a little more current in his graduation speech, busting out in precise poetic cadence:
Now she got a photo/you don’t really know though/you only live once/that’s my motto YOLO.
Stay Classy, Mill Creek High School graduates.
“Poison Ivy” – The Coasters
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Michelle had an unexpected visit from her brother Ed … who provided us with the news that we have an unexpected visitor in our backyard.
That is right, kids. You are going to need an ocean of calamine lotion, if you visit our backyard.
Clearly Michelle and I failed this part of girl scouts training. I just kind of thought it was weed. Dare to dream.
“It takes two” – Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock
Sometimes Michelle has a brilliant idea that I wish I could claim credit for. Sometimes I have a brilliant idea that Michelle wishes she could take credit for (at least I like to think this).
Then sometimes we both have brilliant complementary ideas … that we then each try to co-opt and take credit for. We are nothing if not supportive.
Which brings us to:
It amazes me how much joy a linen closet can bring me.
No, my social calendar is clearly not raging. Thanks for asking.
Michelle brought in the storage bins, I suggested labels. (who doesn’t love labels? And a hole punch? Color me tickled pink!)
It is a thing of glory.
“Scenes from an Italian Restaurant (Bottle of red)” – Billy Joel
My favorite part of the whole house:
Who doesn’t love a good wine display corner in a dining room? The sad part (or amazing part, depending on your sobriety level) – not all of our wine fits into this. There are 108 wine slots, and we still have cases downstairs.
I have an anxiety condition that only activates when there is less wine in the house than we went through at our wedding. You know, in case we need to throw an impromptu celebration with 100 of our closest friends marking a major life milestone. It is a condition with no cure.
“Hot in Herre” – Nelly
And by “herre” (not a misspelling to those who were not listening to top 40 radio in the early 2000s), I mean our new grill:
When I interview people for work, I like to ask them what they would say their greatest accomplishment has been. My answer would be putting this bad boy together. Which may be why I have been in my current job for over 5 years now. #lowstandards
“Disappear” – Beyonce
Most importantly, the “shit” room is becoming the “less shit” room:
Progress, people, progress.
If this blog was a love letter, it would be read by Eddie Murphy with some smooth R&B playing in the background. And it would say:
Baby, I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long. You know I love you. Sometimes I just have things going on. Things to deal with, you know? Girl, all I want is to give you my undivided attention. I miss you every day I am away. I’ll make it up to you, baby.
It is sad when jobs get in the way of true blogosphere love, but work and various Memorial Day weekend activities have kept me from showering my love and devotion upon the blog. But here is my promise to be back tomorrow with some updates …
If this blog was a movie trailer, it would be featuring lots of special effects involving closet organization, booze, toxic findings in the backyard, and sex scandals.
Okay, the last one is a total lie – but the others are legit. More tomorrow …
Why am I shocked? Well, because I successfully completed my first ever electrical project.
And for the record … we are speaking figuratively shocked, not literally (hardy har har).
The project: change out the electrical cord on our dryer.
So here is the thing … we have spent the last several years in old houses. Old houses come with old outlets, with three prongs. And so we bought a dryer many moons ago with a plug that had three prongs. We did well in kindergarden and thus understand that you cannot easily fit 4 things in 3 holes. #freakinggeniuses
Except then we moved to a brand new apartment with a 4-prong outlet. A very nice little man who single-handely carried our dryer up the stairs implied that he might be able to change out our cord if we would be willing to lighten our wallets a little.
And we did. Without a second of hesitation.
And then karma hit like a bitch. We moved back to a house … with a three prong outlet … and a dryer that now had a four prong cord. (Try to keep up)
What made us think we could fix this ourselves? The most dangerous combination you could find – a little confidence and a lotta Google.
First step was to get the necessary plug. To instill confidence, here is the transcript of my dialogue with the nice aging hippy man who worked at Home Depot:
Me: I need a cord for my washer.
Home Depot Hippy Man: You mean your dryer?
Me: Um, yeah, I guess. So it has four thingies and I need one with three thingies.
Home Depot Hippy Man: You mean prongs?
I did not do anything to instill more confidence from that point forward. And so my Home depot friend whipped out a sharpie and decided diagrams were in order:
I gotta say … I have many many (many) faults, but I follow directions very well. And those directions are:
- Unplug the current cord. (no, seriously) Unscrew the back panel where the current cord is sticking out of.
- Unscrew the 3 screws that hold in the four connectors (normally there would be 4 connectors, but since our’s was originally a 3 prong dryer, we got a freebie):
- Pull out your new fancy-pants three prong cord. The only thing that matters is the the center wire (the neutral one) is connected to the middle port (not the technical term). All three sides should be screwed in, and the you can replace the back panel.
- Oh, and make sure the stress relief bracket is in fact relieving stress – these take different forms, but basically you want to clamp it onto the cord in such a way that if your moody cat starts playing tug of war with the cord, it will not pull the cords out of the port.
This should go without saying (you are all smart people … and did you see how many times I used the term “thingie” in this post?) but I am not an electrician and you probably should not follow these directions. But they worked for me …
It’s electric! (boogie woogie woogie)
Cue the porn music.
I have a new love in my life … and that love is my stud finder:
You might ask yourself what need two lesbians might have for a stud finder?
(Side note. Michelle and I both have a thing for Adam Levine. I recognize that some of our viewing public may not understand this forbidden love, but I am proud to live in a country in which 2 all-American lady-loving ladies can have a thing for The Voice’s Adam Levine. And I dare you to show me a person – man, woman, gay, straight – who would not swoon for Adam Levine. The man defies all genders and orientation.
Except Michelle likes him better with a beard. Which makes no sense to me at all.)
Sigh. Where were we?
Right … the real purpose of the Stud Finder. It does in fact find studs. But not Adam studs … wall studs.
Why do we need this?
Two words: Floating Shelves.
A few more words: These are my second favorite thing after Adam Levine and my first favorite thing to add to the wall of my office. And maybe some other walls.
I don’t know when, but I am going to find me a stud (or three) in my office. Be prepared to be jealous, Adam Levine.