garden 2015: update, the first


It is that wonderful time of year – Spring!

The time when the little baby cardinals that have spent their first few days outside of our bathroom window fly the nest (perhaps because of the persistent hungry eyes and watering mouth of one Carmen Sandiego).

The time when Michelle finds a nest of house finches on our front porch (after using her “adult words” to wonder aloud how so much bird shit could land in one concentrate circle right outside our front door).

Spring really is about wonderment, isn’t it?

But most importantly – it is the time that we bathe in the momentary blissful forgetfulness of all the half-eaten tomatoes and wilted cilantro plants and brussels sprouts that never quite sprouted of 2014.  The time when we forget that a few weeks earlier we were stepping into our galoshes to slosh through a few inches of snow.  Because now!  Those galoshes are GARDEN GALOSHES!!!

Same bat-time, same bat-channel, same raised beds, and a (this year unwarranted) sense of pride that we will grow the things.  All of the things.

So here is how Garden 2015 is shaping up:

This year’s garden line up included a few changes:

  • Give them space.  Seriously, eight zukes, squashes, and eggplants in the same bed is no bueno.  Plants come with directions – and mother nature likes her rules to be followed.  Mad respect, mother nature.
  • Cucumbers.  I don’t like cucumbers as a food group, so omitting this seemed like an easy choice last year.  Then I remembered that I like cucumbers in adult liquid refreshments.  Rookie mistake.
  • Fewer tomatoes, more beebee guns.  Our tomato plant to squirrel detractor ratio was 6:0 last year.  That is not even a real number – which one would have thought would have tipped the nerd of the family off.  Nope – I am a slow learner.  The only tomatoes we saw were almost ripe, scattered across the yard, with a single bite mark in them.  Apparently we have picky-ass squirrels.  This year, we decided to try our luck with 3 tomatoes and a range of squirrel deterrent ideas to test.  My ideas center around netting, Michelle’s ideas fall in the concealed handgun category.  Marriage = compromise.
  • What gay garden doesn’t have a little fruit (HA!)?  Little gay strawberries … that we have now learned do not actually grow until they have been in the ground for a few years.  Which seems a little like discrimination to me.
  • All the basil.  The garden winner last year (besides zucchini) was the basil.  I cannot tell you how much pesto we made – and how many friends we made perhaps in large part due to gifts of pesto.  And so in the interest of (a) becoming popular and (b) riding our successes to what will likely be our inevitable Shakespearean downfall (in the Herbs category) – we doubled our basil plants this year.

So from our planted, green, overly optimistic and soon-to-be overly armed house to yours – happy Spring!


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