I have trouble believing anything a healthy person tells me.
Some of the things that I hear from healthy people (people like my wife) are:
- (Exhibit A) “Water is better for you than wine.”
- (Exhibit B) “Key lime pie does not count as a fruit.”
- (Exhibit C) “Neither does apple pie.”
My knee jerk reaction to comments like these is to stick my fingers in my ears and sing “la la la” as loud as I can.
And can we even believe these statements? I mean, look at the evidence:
- (A) Jesus turned water into wine – and who am I not to trust Jesus?
- (B) It has the word “lime” in it.
- (C) MURICA:
But the worst of the “healthy people say” collection in my mind is this one:
I am not what you would call “svelt.” I am a loud and proud feminist who truly believes in body positivity when it applies to anyone else in the room other than moi. I realize this is problematic – trust me. But what I am is:
- A girl who classifies as overweight on the NIH BMI calculator (which is a change from the “obese” of 6 months, 10% of body weight, and countless weight watchers meetings ago).
- A girl whose core problem with weight is not a lack of exercise or an inability to pick the “right” food.
- A girl whose biggest issue is that I am hungry 85% of my waking hours.
- And finally, a girl whose blissful non-hungry 15% happens right around the time I roll out of bed.
Breakfast – the only meal that I really could give two shits about.
These little muffins are the bread to my butter, the icing to my cake, and other metaphors that should be healthier but are not.
These little muffins are my spiritual guide – my guru – into the world of “breakfast can be delicious, fill that tummy, and maybe even push down that hungry fraction to 60% of the day. Okay, maybe 70.” Namaste.
And they are paleo. RWAR dinosaurs.
And here they are, for the win:
- One dozen eggs
- 6 slices prosciutto (slices in half)
- a bunch of mushrooms (chopped) – or whatever tasty veggies you like
- Herbs, spices, and seasonings
- Preheat oven to 400 F, and use some cooking spray on a muffin tin.
- Take each half slice of prosciutto and make it into a general cup-like shape in the muffin tin. Those with OCD may stress that the meat does not fully cover the bottom. Don’t. It is not a problem – and it is another 20 minutes before you learn that for yourself.
- Throw your mushrooms, other veggies and herbs/spices into the prosciutto cups.
- Mix up those 12 eggs and pour them into the tin.
- Bake until the eggs are set – about 18 minutes.